A NEW RESIDENCE

On January 17, 2020, I finalized my plans to move from the country home and farm I had shared for twenty five years with my beloved husband who died in October 16, 2018 from complications following a lung transplant in 2010.  

It was not a difficult decision to leave because my grieving for him was intensified by all the things he left behind. These were permanent fixtures and they were daily reminders of his death.  I looked at all he had left behind, and the tears for my loss erupted. 

I was surrounded by all he had built such as the white fence that encircled two pastures on each side of the house.  Whenever I looked out the kitchen window onto the spacious back yard I was reminded of his absence as I gazed at the areas that once housed his honey bees and now stood empty, the gazebo that had been a gathering place for many family events, now vacant and silent as a reminder of my emptiness. The barn that he built, strategically located behind the fence and adjacent to the pasture along with the tractors in the shed, all still and never-moving.  These were constant reminders that his world and the farm he loved had ended. I recalled my request for a red roof on the barn when he had planned to do a regular tin roof.  The red roof became a landmark in our neighborhood and could be seen from a distance.

I could go on and on because he was everywhere, but he was nowhere.  My grief was overwhelming and a constant reminder that my life as it had been with him was over. My promise to him that I would remain a year was fulfilled.  I had to leave everything behind and open a new door.  Even now, fifteen months later and in a new residence, I write through my tears.

The move was more than I could manage, but I was fortunate to have my children and their family always there to help me pack.  Others came to help on the transfer from the country to a small town approximately forty five miles northwest.

It has now been two weeks and I have settled into a cottage  in one of the most beautiful retirement communities that is located less than a ten minute drive from my two children and some of my many grandchildren.  They delight in having their mom close enough to drop by easily and not have the one hour drive to visit as it was before.  

I have met many new people, who along with me, call this beautiful community, home. I have a lovely view of the mountains and look forward to the changing seasons. The day I moved into my cottage I received numerous messages and e-mails and most of them said:  Welcome Home Brenda!  I was, and continue to be comforted by those new neighbors and friends.

I will miss the family I left behind, those that my husband and I worked diligently to combine as one big family, this having been  a second marriage for us both.  Goodbyes said with love and future plans to remain family were not without tears.  It was the same with the many friends at my church, and of course my country neighbors who had been faithfully kind and generous with their time during my bereavement year.

I have now reached the last phase of my life.  I chose to finish it the way I have always lived and that is to keep my postive attitude about trials and the many challenges of life.  I plan to enjoy the healthy benefits here as I began the exercise program this past week.  There are abundant opportunities and activities that are planned monthly.  I suppose the only problem I have now may be finding enough time to visit with my family and visitors who drop by!

More later..................................................Brenda