The Sports Bra

 Some years back a friend of mine invited me to begin classes with her at the newly-opened YMCA.  I had recently retired and she felt a need to help me fulfill all those newly acquired hours I would now have. I reluctantly agreed and thus began a thrice- weekly trek to the large indoor pool for water aerobics.

This was a twenty- five to thirty minute drive for me as opposed to her ten - fifteen minute drive.  In addition following the forty-five minute session in the pool, another twenty minutes were used to shower and dry our hair.  All in all, this morning session spoiled the remainder of the day.  I was usually too tired to do my household chores because water aerobics somehow induced the need for a nap.  I could not go shopping while inside the city limits with accessibility to stores because now my hair was a mess and of course no make-up.  So it seems that virtually three days a week were lost for those forty-five minutes of water aerobics!

It was during one of those days when I was exiting my dressing room cubicle that I encountered an elderly lady directly outside the curtained area.  She was a stoutly- figured lady with short gray hair and as I looked her way she immediately asked me if I could help her.

Well she appeared to be in dire distress because she had attempted to put on a sports bra over a damp body.  Now if you have ever attempted to wear a sports bra you know that only the young and slender girls are adapt at this because this was designed for the young and restless.  The sports bra was never meant for the breasts that have gone South and resided there for years! There are no openings in this contraption other than those for the arms and head to go through.  It is a pull-over bra that could by all appearances qualify for a torture implement. The material my be cotton, or one that contains spandex, which makes it even more difficult to maneuver one's upper body into the darn thing.  Young girls ( 12 - 20 ) love them as they are perfect for jogging, yoga, bikes or any physical activity. I could imagine the conversation she probably had with one of her granddaughters, " Grandma, you must get a sports bra now that you are in the exercise program!"

 As I surveyed the problem it was apparent that she was indeed trapped!  Somehow she had managed to get her head and both arms through the necessary openings but could not move her arms or the bra away and over the area to be covered which, of course, were her breasts.  Those large pendulous breasts that were now comfortably residing below her waist.

As I stood there assessing the situation, I realized it was going to take a considerable force to move that sports bra ( even with the spandex) from the location of her armpits and upper chest to an area below those breasts.  I answered her call for help with a very weak, well, I will try....

I positioned my legs and feet so that I could hold my stand, and at the same time I cautioned her to hold still or better yet, hold onto something.  I then managed to place both my hands under the lower edge of that extremely tight sports bra as I pulled it up and forward, lowering it to the position below the breasts.  You must envision a giant elastic band and the impact it made once it was released! I have to say that it took as much strength as I could possibly use to pull that bra and not pull the lady!

Finally she was able to manipulate those large breasts into the bra as I left to meet my friend at the front of the building.  I could only say that I hoped that was her last day with the sports bra and I had to admit that I was glad I had not been endowed with those pendulous breasts! 

Good to be here with you again.  

More Later.................................................................................Brenda 

The Picture

Welcome to the walk today.  You know how you have heard that things go around and come around again..........well, that may not be the exact quote but I thought I would tell you about something I had to happen many years ago, dismissed and hoped to never see it again.....

My senior year in high school was 1958.  All senior females were photographed with a black drape across our bare shoulders.  A few weeks later we were given four proofs to view and pick one that we wanted to be placed in the annual.  I picked one that was a front view and I had my usual smile.  I never posed for a picture without smiling, usually showing my teeth.  I was proud of my smile and had always been complimented on how happy I looked.

Imagine my surprise when the annual came out and the ONE picture I would never have picked for a permanent record in the annual was the one when I had NO smile and an expression on my face that I was probably caught off guard as the camera clicked.  I don't know how this happened other than maybe I had chosen to swallow at that particular moment in time.  Anyway there it was......never to be corrected and left to memory only......I hoped. 

After I graduated, I forgot the incident and moved on.  I had many goals to accomplish during the next three to five years so that picture was of little or no consequence to me any more.  Good Riddance!

My life moved forward, I completed a three-year diploma nursing program, became a licensed registered nurse, moved back to my home with my parents, found a job in the local hospital, and began to focus on other important photographs that included my engagement picture to Paul and later, my wedding pictures.  The high school senior picture that I hated long ago was replaced. 

So, if that is so, then why did I choose to bring it up and share it with you today?  You see, I never anticipated social media in the twenty-first century!  I honestly did not think beyond the twentieth century.  But now we have an amazing device that we call a cell phone, which is really a misnomer because it is actually a hand-held computer.  Yes, I can make contact with others through the cell-phone in the computer, but it does so much more.  This amazing device will allow people everywhere, not just my hometown, my state, and the United States of America, BUT the entire WORLD to once again view that horrible picture of me that I thought was gone!

I opened the social media page called Facebook last week and discovered that a former classmate had posted it.  Again, I shoved that image to the lowest recesses of my memory area in my brain and accepted that it would be removed in three days.  Relax, I said to myself, most of the people who knew you then are either dead or in a demented brain state.  Forget it!  So I did!

Well, this past Sunday one of my nephews who lives about as far away as you can get from me and still be in the US, was going through all his collection of pictures and guess what?  You guessed it....there it was again.  This thing will not go away!

I decided to go back and look at that picture again.  The one on the facebook page.  This time I viewed it through my almost eighty-year-old eyes. My memory had continued to remember how I saw the picture as a seventeen, almost eighteen year old. That stored memory held fast to the shallowness of appearances at that young period of my life.  I stared at my picture for a long time, and as I did I added all those memories these past sixty years.  This time I saw a young girl who was very naive, and who unknowing at that time would make choices that would help direct a path.for the remainder of her life. I wondered to myself, would I go back and change things, knowing what I know now?

  Oh, I thought, how young I was.  My hair was long and thick and the style was pretty.  I did miss my smile but I had lovely young eyes. My eyebrows were natural, not growing in different directions as they do now.  My skin was clear and not any evidence of those wrinkles that would surly be there in the future.  My shoulders were round and firm, not bony and skinny as they are now.  Another thing I noticed was an air of confidence that seemed to jump out of the still photo.  The girl in that picture taken so long ago knew what she wanted to do with her life.  She had already selected her professional vocation, her mate and she knew what she could accomplish because she was busy setting goals and she was not afraid of new challenges.

Would I go back?  Would I make changes?  NO , not a single thing, because I would not have my amazing family and all those wonderful people and experiences to look back on.  The moment the camera shutter clicked, My life and all my experiences, good and bad began.  I  have been given and received the beautiful gift of memory that is so important in my life today.

Oh, my, I thought..................".beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder"

Just Pondering........................................................

CAT HEAVEN

Sorry to leave you hanging on to my unfinished story about my cat, Tommy.  Today I will finish the story about him.

As you remember, Tommy is a beautiful white male cat, who arrived at our home when he was a young abandoned kitten. He is now approximately six years old.  In January I moved to another location some 50 miles northwest so I could live closer to my children as I age.  I knew that Tommy loved the farm and his best pal Bella, a large, gentle giant and mix of mostly golden retreiver.  They spent almost every day and night together, especially during the cold winter months.  It was with trepidation that I decided to find him another home, and that was with my niece who absolutely adored cats, having four of her own.  She and her husband wanted Tommy.

As you recall, the first week he disappeared and we were so sad thinking about him being lost and trying to find his way back to his friend, Bella and the farm.  After about a week, he suddenly reappeared at my niece's house and was very hungry.  They made him a large, soft bed and fed him "fancy feast" cat food as often as he wanted it.

About three months after this royal treatment, Tommy became "the king of the road".  He ruled over all the other outside cats and had become THE cat.  He now had his own special place to sleep inside the garage; however the fancy feast meals had to be downsize to reduced portions and from canned to dry food.  Tommy was getting so fat that his legs were beginning to disappear under his enormous belly and white fur. 

His new family has a lawn beautifully landscaped with large stones, flowers and walking paths.  Tommy has enjoyed many days lying on the warm stones and smelling the flowers.  When the winter flowers had to be removed to make room for the Spring and Summer flowers, Tommy appeared to be saddened for their loss.  On the day that my niece's husband arrived with the new baskets of flowers, Tommy was so excited he jumped onto the truck where the flowers were, and curled his body among them.  He now loves his new yard!

Tommy also has two sweet little grand-daughters who love to pet him and rub his tummy.  As soon as they arrive the first thing for them to do is pet Tommy and the last thing they do when they leave. They begged to take him home and keep him but his new family loved him too much knowing he would run away again.  

I stopped by to visit my niece for the first time last week and was looking forward to seeing my cat again.  When I drove up, he was in a very comfortable position as cat guard of the front door which was the main entrance into the house.  I approached him, expecting to see him respond not only to my voice, but to my touch.  To my surprise, he nipped at my finger!  He wanted nothing to do with me.  I think he was afraid I would take him away from his new home!

I left knowing that Tommy is very happy where he is. He resides with a very loving family and definitely belongs to them. Yes, Tommy the cat, is in"Cat Heaven"!

See you on the next walk...............................................B  

The unusual funeral reception

Hello dear friend, so glad you stopped by for another walk on this beautiful June day.  I think you will enjoy this story I want to share with you.

This particular incident happened about ten or twelve years ago.  At that time my husband and I were living in a large rural community approximately one hour's drive from my former home town.  My husband was still self-isolating from a lung transplant and not traveling very far from our home.  It was during this time that I received a call from my sister who lived at the end of that one-hour drive.  She called to invite me to accompany her to attend a funeral for the wife of a former doctor we had both worked with at a small hospital during the 60's.  He had asked some of our former co-workers to contact both of us because he had not seen us in many years.  This doctor was now 85 + years.

The day arrived when I was to pick up my sister and we would go together.  Prior to my departure, my sister called and said she was taking a cold and felt it best for her not to go.  I continued on my journey and fortunately found my three friends and former co-workers inside the church.  When the family came into the church I hardly recognized the former doctor whom I had worked with for about five years.  Entering the front of the church was an elderly man whose appearance was unlike the younger doctor I had worked with many years earlier.  I remembered he always had a receding hairline, but now he was almost bald except for a few stray white hairs along the back.  He had trouble walking and his appearance was that of someone who had possibly had a stroke, especially since one side of his face was drawn to one side.  I noticed that his sons aided him in walking.  How sad, I thought,  He must have been through a lot these past years.  My heart was filled with empathy for him.

Immediately following the funeral, we gathered along with the family and other church members and friends in the garden for the entombment of his wife.  It was a very moving ceremony.  We were all invited to join the family in the reception area immediately adjacent to the garden.  As we followed the crowd our first pause was to meet the family, who formed a semi-circle around one side of the very large room.  My friend, the doctor/now widower was first, then his daughter, her children, the three sons, and their families.

I was the first to greet him as I accompanied my three friends.  He looked at me and asked who I was.  I told him my name and what my last name was prior to my now marriage.  He responded with a very loud Oh Yes!  Did I heart that your husband was very sick and may not live long?  He then leaned closer to my ear as he hugged me and said .......".you know, I am available now"!  Well, I stood back and looked him straight in the eye as I released his hug and said, "well I am not!"

I am sure that his children heard him say that and I was very embarrassed.  We had nothing more than a professional working relationship during the five years we worked for the same hospital.  I avoided him during the reception, and as I was preparing to make my exit, I decided to go over to his table ( where he was seated with one of his sons and some friends).  Once again I expressed my condolences and wished him well.  He pulled our a pen and piece of paper and asked me for my phone number and e-mail and proceeded to write his information.  As he finished this task of another humiliating moment, he once again stated.  "I am available now, you know, and let me know when your husband dies!"

I literally ran out of the reception room!  Any empathy I had was replaced with surprising disappointment.  I wished I could have been spared that experience and held onto the memory of the young doctor, husband, father of four that I had once had the pleasure of working with.

   As I reflected the events of the day on my drive home, It changed from shock, surprise and some sorrow to a hilarious time in my life, and another great story to tell.  It was totally unexpected and I could not wait to tell my husband that story!  As I expected, he joined me in a great laugh for the day, especially when he added, "Go, with my blessings, honey"!

TOMMY CAT'S WILD ADVENTURE

During my recent move to a new location approximately forty miles away, I decided to help Tommy, my sweet outside cat, find a new home where he would be fed and loved.  Knowing that he was a barn cat who loved roaming freely among the barn and the hay fields, I was concerned that he would be on his own for his food.

Tommy had appeared suddenly, as a small white kitten who frequented three different houses adjacent to the farm in 2014.  He was adopted by the neighboring children and had acquired the names, Snowball, and Tummy Tuff, as was evidenced by his beautiful coat of white fur.  It wasn't long until he gravitated toward my house having observed that I was the only one in the three homes who was home most of the day.  He gradually became my pet.  Tommy made friends with the large furry pet next door named Bella.  The two of them spent their winters together in a large dog house with a heating pad that was located on the carport of my house.  Tommy would curl against Bella for warmth during the cold wintry days.  They became inseparable companions over the years.  Bella is now fourteen years old and showing evidence of joint deteriation.

I knew it would be difficult for Tommy to survive outdoors without his friend, Bella, and  I feared he would not be fed regularly by the neighbors.  After I shared my concerns with my feline-loving niece, she immediately volunteered to provide a home for him.  We felt he would be happy among her other four outside cats.

On moving day, in addition to furniture etc. Tommy was placed in the traveling cat carrier as my daughter transported him to my niece who lived forty or so miles north of the farm.  He was welcomed with a "fancy feast" meal, petted and encouraged to join the other felines.  Unfortunately, within an hour, he ran away.  As each day passed we could envision poor Tommy trying to find his way home to the farm.  After a full week had passed, my niece and I accepted that he was gone.  We could only hope he had found a friendly cat lover.

On the tenth day of his disappearance, I received a call from my niece exclaiming, "Tommy came back!"  She was elated as was I.  He was rewarded with all the fancy feast he could consume, petted and pampered while given a warm pad to sleep on in the garage. We were all surprised that he looked well-fed and healthy.

He disappeared again the next day.
.


More Later..........................................................................................  Brenda

A NEW RESIDENCE

On January 17, 2020, I finalized my plans to move from the country home and farm I had shared for twenty five years with my beloved husband who died in October 16, 2018 from complications following a lung transplant in 2010.  

It was not a difficult decision to leave because my grieving for him was intensified by all the things he left behind. These were permanent fixtures and they were daily reminders of his death.  I looked at all he had left behind, and the tears for my loss erupted. 

I was surrounded by all he had built such as the white fence that encircled two pastures on each side of the house.  Whenever I looked out the kitchen window onto the spacious back yard I was reminded of his absence as I gazed at the areas that once housed his honey bees and now stood empty, the gazebo that had been a gathering place for many family events, now vacant and silent as a reminder of my emptiness. The barn that he built, strategically located behind the fence and adjacent to the pasture along with the tractors in the shed, all still and never-moving.  These were constant reminders that his world and the farm he loved had ended. I recalled my request for a red roof on the barn when he had planned to do a regular tin roof.  The red roof became a landmark in our neighborhood and could be seen from a distance.

I could go on and on because he was everywhere, but he was nowhere.  My grief was overwhelming and a constant reminder that my life as it had been with him was over. My promise to him that I would remain a year was fulfilled.  I had to leave everything behind and open a new door.  Even now, fifteen months later and in a new residence, I write through my tears.

The move was more than I could manage, but I was fortunate to have my children and their family always there to help me pack.  Others came to help on the transfer from the country to a small town approximately forty five miles northwest.

It has now been two weeks and I have settled into a cottage  in one of the most beautiful retirement communities that is located less than a ten minute drive from my two children and some of my many grandchildren.  They delight in having their mom close enough to drop by easily and not have the one hour drive to visit as it was before.  

I have met many new people, who along with me, call this beautiful community, home. I have a lovely view of the mountains and look forward to the changing seasons. The day I moved into my cottage I received numerous messages and e-mails and most of them said:  Welcome Home Brenda!  I was, and continue to be comforted by those new neighbors and friends.

I will miss the family I left behind, those that my husband and I worked diligently to combine as one big family, this having been  a second marriage for us both.  Goodbyes said with love and future plans to remain family were not without tears.  It was the same with the many friends at my church, and of course my country neighbors who had been faithfully kind and generous with their time during my bereavement year.

I have now reached the last phase of my life.  I chose to finish it the way I have always lived and that is to keep my postive attitude about trials and the many challenges of life.  I plan to enjoy the healthy benefits here as I began the exercise program this past week.  There are abundant opportunities and activities that are planned monthly.  I suppose the only problem I have now may be finding enough time to visit with my family and visitors who drop by!

More later..................................................Brenda